The most painful decisions in life are the ones that make themselves on your behalf.

The older I get (in business, and on Earth), the more often that thought keeps coming back to me.

I believe that life is, quite simply, a chain reaction of the decisions you make. And 99% of them are small - completely unremarkable in the moment - but they compound greatly over time.

That's not the point of this post, though.

I often find myself perseverating over certain types of decisions - usually around people, and usually around the decision to stop working with someone that I love. And those moments are what brings me back to the original quote:

The most painful decisions in life are the ones that make themselves on your behalf.

There are times when you need to part ways with someone, and it's blatantly obvious. Those aren't the ones that I'm talking about.

The Tough Stuff

The tough stuff lives in the gray.

It's the person who has a great attitude, but can't seem to get the work done. Or the person who has a ton of desire, but can't learn the skills. Or the person who has uncapped potential, but can't focus their efforts to develop it.

If you're anything like me, you're empathetic. You care about people, especially once you hire them (to use the business example). You invest in them, you create opportunities for them, and you give them the chance to make an impact that's worthy of their potential.

But the hard truth is that not all of them will be willing, or able, to execute on it. And that's when things get tough - at least for me, because I tend to "slow roll" the decision that's looming on the other side of the missed opportunities.

And I think it's because I'm resisting the fact that the circumstances have already made the decision for me - and I just need to catch up and admit it.

Thing is, I've done this a number of times before. And it always ends the same way - with me making the decision I should have already made, feeling a huge sense of relief that it's finally over, and moving on to greener pastures.

So why not learn from the "pattern in the data" like I do in almost every area of my life? Why not be more decisive, why not rip the band-aid off faster, why not be more ruthless?

I'm not sure, yet.

But overall, my philosophy today is that this isn't a binary decision (too slow vs. ruthless). I think it's a continuum that needs to be managed.

There are "two ends" to the continuum:

The Slow Roll

Invest in people as deeply as I canProvide numerous opportunities to succeed, develop, and growBe patient with results despite the opportunity cost

The Quick Rip

Invest in people only as deeply as they invest in themselvesExpect people to carve out their own opportunities to succeed, develop, and growSet clear expectations, performance threshold, and dates - and stick to the plan

Right now, I think I fall about 75% Slow Roll and 25% Quick Rip - and if I have to err, I'd rather err in that direction. But as I ponder this continuum, I do believe there's a new level of performance sitting on the other side of an adjustment here. Never a binary, but at least closer 50/50.

Because however much I resist it, the truth still remains: the decisions that I'm slow-rolling have typically already been made.

It's just a matter of me catching up to it faster.

MV